Long time gone

So, it seems that the sounds of silence were being practiced right here on my very own blog as well. :-) I'm back now, and I have things to say. Look out world.

On second thought, I don't have anything really important to say.

I've had two really good weekends in a row now. Last weekend I went to NYC for the day. I got to geek out about a bunch of movable bridges. Thanks, guys, for letting me do that, and only making fun of me a little bit. I have to concur with Matt, MOBIA was boring. I don't really get art. I'm glad some people do, and I know some people who would really have enjoyed it, but it's not my thing. Central Park is cool, though. It's this little oasis in the middle of the city. With all of the trees, you almost forget that you're in the middle of this huge city. I also got to see Lady Liberty for the first time ever. That's pretty impressive. I can't imagine what that would've been like to see after weeks of traveling. Pretty powerful image.

I'm danced out. Well, at least for a day or two. This weekend I went to Boston for a balboa weekend. Lots of fun. Got to learn some new moves, hang out with some very fun people, and get very tired. I've definitely been bitten by the dancing bug. Now I'm just waiting for my new dancing shoes...I'll be a dancing machine. :-)

Terrible power

This is not good. We have an office down in New Orleans, which is closed at the moment. We're hearing from our emplyees, so it's good that they're safe, but there's so much devestation. It's amazing to me, the power of some of these storms. It's like glimpsing a little bit of the awesome power of God. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but there's a certain beauty in the power of the storm. It's a powerful reminder of who God is.

The sounds of silence

My small group is reading through "The Life You've Always Wanted" right now. This week was the chapter on the discipline of silence. How do you do with silence? I'm horrible at it. My brain is usually running 5 miles a minute and going off in every tangent imaginable. And yet silence is a good thing. Granted, some people are better at it than others, but that doesn't mean that those of us who struggle shouldn't do it. Jesus made it a point to go off on his own, spend time in prayer, and just be. He lived the ultimate unhurried life. And yet, he was almost constantly on the go. How do you do that? I think it's because he conciously took time from his day to be alone. To pray, to refocus. I usually don't stop to think about the day until it's pretty much over. But last night in small group we all went to different rooms and spent an hour in silence. A whole HOUR! We had no clocks, no music, no books, nothing but a piece of paper, a pen, and the Bible. It was tough. Not quite as tough as I thought, but I was still squirming towards the end. Mostly because I was in my own bedroom trying not to look at all of the other things I could've been doing.

But thinking back on last night, I'm glad we did it. It forced me to stop. To take time to regroup, focus on God, to pray, to read the Bible. How often in a day do we have an hour of uninterrupted time? Or make an hour of uninterrupted time? Most of the time we just go from one activity to the next, until the whole day becomes a blur. We end up just kind of floating along in life, not really living it. One quote from this week's chapter of the book really struck me. It talked about how busyness allows us to settle for a mediocre faith. That we're not in danger of abandoning our faith so much as we are in danger of accepting a mediocre faith. That's not good.

Lord, help me to take time to slow down and spend time each day focusing on you so that I never settle for mediocrity.

Cry me a river

Have you had a good cry lately? Maybe the menfolk will not understand. However, I think that one of the most cathartic things in the world is a good cry. The kind when your body is just wracked with sobs and you're almost hyperventilating. You just let it all out. The feeling after a cry like that is usually one of peace. It's amazing how much better you can feel after a good cry. People who know me will tell you that I'm not much of a crier. Sure, I may feel like crying every now and then, or I may get "misty", but I don't really cry that much. But last night God and I had a good talk, and I had a good cry. I felt wonderful afterwards. Well, not exactly wonderful, but I felt lighter somehow.

Which leads me to the reasons that brought about those tears. It was me giving up different dreams that I've been holding on to. Not giving up on them, but giving them over to God, and trusting that He knows what's best for me. That's really hard to do. There are always things we want to do, or to be, or to accomplish. Christians always talk about "taking things to God". But how good are we about doing that? Do we really still secretly hold onto those dreams and desires? I may get some of my dreams. But I might not, and it's hard to let go of them. I want to tell God to do whatever he wants in my life, but I'm afraid. Afraid that what God has in mind is not going to match up with what I envision. As if somehow my dream is better or I could plan and arrange my life better than Him. Not likely. It's hard to trust that maybe the best thing for me is to not have or do or be certain things.

Pondering all of these things, I put in a CD by a former worship leader at my parents church. The words of one song in particular struck me, and I thought I'd leave you with those thoughts:

In the morning when I rise...

And when I am alone...

And when I come to die...

Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world.
Give me Jesus.

Another one bites the dust

I went to a friends' wedding on Saturday. It was beautiful. However, if I don't go to another wedding for a couple years, that'd be okay, too. I have 4 weddings this year. 2 down, 2 to go. And one of those is my brother's. And I'm in that one. That'll make 6 weddings I've been in. So why don't I like weddings? No, it's not that I don't like weddings. I'm really happy for my friends. But when is it going to be my turn? Will the time come when they're happy for me? I think that's the real problem. After this past weekend, I can now say that I'm the only one of my college friends that isn't married. God, will it ever by my turn? If not, do you think you could take this desire from me?

In a much happier train of thought...I love my friends. Well, I love all of my friends, but in particular my college friends. I love having people that I'm so comfortable with that we can just sit and enjoy each other's company and not say anything. Or we can not see each other for two months and pick up like we never left off, talking till 1 in the morning. Four of my college friends came out for the wedding on Saturday. It was so nice to see them all again, in one place, all together. I've known them now for seven years. That's a milestone for me. Actually, anything over four years is a milestone. My whole life I've never known what it's like to have close friends with years of shared history. Thanks to the Air Force, I moved every three years. Friendships are hard to keep up when you're an ocean away. But now I've had these friends for seven years. SEVEN! It may not go back to 3rd grade, but for me, who's never had friends longer than 3 years, it's incredible. They're the ones that confronted me and broke through my defense mechanisms of keeping people at arms length and showed me what real friendship and love is about. What it means to have friends that are family. They've seen me at my best, and they've seen me at my absolute worst. And, go figure, they still love me! Pretty cool.

It's a Dee-Dah day!

This is really good news. (If you're interested and want the ins and outs of this process from the inside, check out this site.) We've been waiting for this bill to pass for 2 years. If you've heard of engineering companies downsizing and everyone struggling, this has been why. Not so much the slowdown in the economy since 9/11, although that didn't help. No, we've been waiting on the new Highway Transportation Act for 2 years. They've been making all kinds of extensions and fighting about it in Congress. How does this bill help, you may ask? Well, this bill gives the states money so they can pursue all kinds of highway projects. In order to do that, they need to hire engineering firms (such as mine) to do the design work for the project. So hopefully this means that firms will now start getting the work they've been so desperately seeking for the last couple years. It was getting cut-throat. Everyone going for the same projects because there were so few. But things are starting to look up for engineers everywhere.

So be sure to hug an engineer today. :-)

Where has the time gone?

I read "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" yesterday. That's right. All 870 pages of it...well, I read about 70 pages on Saturday, but that's beside the point. I've got to say this...J.K. Rowling, whatever you may think of her story, is a pretty darn good author. The book completely sucked me in. I read for 10 1/2 straight hours. Now, partly that's me, but partly it was because the story was good, and well written and moved the story along at a good pace, giving you enough information to keep you baited. And now I can't read the 6th book because my dad took it with him when my folks went on vacation. Bummer. Granted, she's no Tolkien, Lewis, or Austen, but I love the Harry Potter books. Very entertaining.

And thanks to those folks who taught me to play croquet on Saturday night. I had a wonderful time hanging out with all of you. And thanks to one friend in particular, who arranged the whole thing and opened his space to the rest of us hooligans.