Cry me a river

Have you had a good cry lately? Maybe the menfolk will not understand. However, I think that one of the most cathartic things in the world is a good cry. The kind when your body is just wracked with sobs and you're almost hyperventilating. You just let it all out. The feeling after a cry like that is usually one of peace. It's amazing how much better you can feel after a good cry. People who know me will tell you that I'm not much of a crier. Sure, I may feel like crying every now and then, or I may get "misty", but I don't really cry that much. But last night God and I had a good talk, and I had a good cry. I felt wonderful afterwards. Well, not exactly wonderful, but I felt lighter somehow.

Which leads me to the reasons that brought about those tears. It was me giving up different dreams that I've been holding on to. Not giving up on them, but giving them over to God, and trusting that He knows what's best for me. That's really hard to do. There are always things we want to do, or to be, or to accomplish. Christians always talk about "taking things to God". But how good are we about doing that? Do we really still secretly hold onto those dreams and desires? I may get some of my dreams. But I might not, and it's hard to let go of them. I want to tell God to do whatever he wants in my life, but I'm afraid. Afraid that what God has in mind is not going to match up with what I envision. As if somehow my dream is better or I could plan and arrange my life better than Him. Not likely. It's hard to trust that maybe the best thing for me is to not have or do or be certain things.

Pondering all of these things, I put in a CD by a former worship leader at my parents church. The words of one song in particular struck me, and I thought I'd leave you with those thoughts:

In the morning when I rise...

And when I am alone...

And when I come to die...

Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world.
Give me Jesus.