A post on another blog has got me thinking. Are we afraid to share honestly with other Christians? I think so, and it's a shame. I know that I have gone through times of doubt and frustration, but don't really want to share some of the things I've been thinking for fear that I'll be judged. That people will think I'm less of a Christian. I think people pass judgement on other people in those situations because it's easier than dealing with their own shortcomings/doubts/insecurities.
After wrestling for a while, and reading a lot, I have come to the conclusion that God welcomes people who are honest enough about their struggles to admit them. That God is patient with my doubting, my confusion, even my anger. He let Job question him. Didn't answer him directly, but that's not the point. Job complained to God, and it was okay. Jacob wrestled with God, Thomas needed tangible proof, the disciples would get it and then not get it a minute later. And yet God was patient. And he USED every one of those people. And I think it was the faith that resulted from those periods of doubt and uncertainty that enabled God to use them so mightily. (I must put in a caveat and say that just because God uses these times doesn't mean that I think God likes us to be in places like that).
Sometimes doubt can drive people from God. But I think more often it's a strengthener of faith. If I doubt and wrestle, then when I come through on the other side, my faith is "mine". I'm not just taking someone else's word for it...I've made it mine.
So if it's something God can work with, why can't the church? Instead, it's seen as a weakness, something that we can't share with other people, or something we don't know what to do with when someone does open up. But we've all been there, and I think we're lying to ourselves and to others if we don't admit it. Everyone has times when they question God. When what they've been told and believe doesn't seem to fit with what's really happening.
It doesn't mean I don't believe. Really, what else is there to believe that holds water? No, it's not turning my back on God. I'm just being real and honest before God, taking off my mask of "spirituality". Admitting my struggles. Now if only I could be so bold as to do that in front of other people.
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3 comments:
That, by far, tops any blog spam I have seen yet! I'm sorry. I actually had real comment to make, but that spam threw me. I'll try again later.
Ok, I'm back. You forgot to mention Habakkuk. He questioned God. God gave him a direct answer, and then Habakkuk whined about it. God was cool with that. I think that the whole Christian honesty problem lies in trust. It requires a great amount of trust to share what is closest to us. How can we trust others with our struggles when humans are inherently unreliable?
I think we put too much stock in our fellow man. The guy standing next to me is as much as screw up as I am. What good is it to really gush my feelings to him? Not much. If it's a big deal take it to Someone who deals with big deals. yeah yeah "iron sharpens iron" and all that and "don't forsake the gathering" sure thats all good but we should really be relying on Christ, He'll remove our burdens. Not just sympathize as man can only do.
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