O Come, All Ye Faithful

I just had Christmas Eve service. That’s right. In March. I also had Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost services. All in one weekend. It’s a new spiritual renewal/faith building weekend thing the United Methodist Church is doing. Dr. Eddie Fox, Director of World Missions for the UM Church, has begun this “Christ the Cornerstone” weekend. My parents’ church was the guinea pig for this weekend. I must admit I was skeptical at first. And don’t even try explaining it to friends. It’s difficult to tell them you’re going to a Christmas Eve service in March. But it was surprisingly refreshing. Dr. Fox spoke for all 4 services on having Christ as the cornerstone of our lives. And so we went through all of the important celebrations of Christ’s life…his birth, death, and resurrection, and the coming of the Holy Spirit.

As we talked this weekend of having Christ in the center of our lives, and what that means, I began to become unsettled. Dr. Fox was preaching on having Christ at the center, being transformed, and becoming available to let the Holy Spirit work in you and through you. What, he asked, were we willing to give up and sacrifice for this God who gave up so much for us. Will we really allow him to direct and lead our lives? So this got me thinking about where I’m serving, and what I’m doing. Am I really doing my best, and giving my all, and letting God work through me? At work? At church? Everywhere? Am I being Christ to other people?

For a while now, I’ve had a huge burden for my parent’s church. Part of it, I’m sure, has to do with doing a lot of growing up in that church. But I think most of it is a feeling that a lot of these people don’t have a life transforming faith. That they’re content to sit in church on Sunday mornings and that’s it. This weekend really pulled at my heart strings. However, I’ve been going to a different church for about 3 years. One in which I really feel fed spiritually. And I met a lot of my close friends there. But I’m feeling a stronger pull back to my parents church. How do you pick a church home? There are going to be problems with any church you go to. I don’t necessarily agree with everything the UM church does. But I love the people of this church dearly, warts and all. And am really feeling like maybe God is pulling me back there to serve. What if I needed to go to this other church in order to learn things that will benefit my parents’ church? And if so, what would that be? I have no idea what I would do, how I would serve, but I’m feeling this pull. Is it purely emotional? I certainly feel a stronger bond to a lot more people at my parents church. Or is this truly a new direction God is leading me in? I definitely feel more spiritually fed at the second church. But is that a good reason to stick with a church? After all, it’s not about me being fed. But about worship, and serving and loving others as Christ served and loved others.

I don’t know. So I’m feeling very unsettled. I feel like I’m being pulled in two directions and I don’t know which way to go. Sometimes I wish there were easy answers.