Because I like to laugh

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Suspected crack in windshield
(S) Suspect you’re right

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

(P) Mouse in cockpit
(S) Cat installed

Please, don't do it

Don't make the Pittsburgh Steelers the favorites to win the Super Bowl. They've been the underdogs this long, and it's working for them. And since they get to choose what jersey they want to wear, they should stick with their road jerseys.

But I am giddy. Yes, yesterday, decked out in my Jerome Bettis jersey, I was cheering the Steelers win over the Broncos. Who'da thunk it? The first #6 seed to knock off a #3, #1, and #2 seeded teams on the way to a Super Bowl. Yep. Giddy is the word for it.

I hate being sick, though. I was sick all weekend. Didn't help that I went out in the field on Thursday for work. I only made it 2 hours at work. Had to go back home to bed. Spent a lot of time in bed. It's no fun being sick by yourself, either. Mom was home alone sick, too, so I went to keep her company. Two days of being home and just sleeping or staring at the wall was beginning to drive me crazy. Gotta thank my brother for giving me his cold.

And for the record, I'm picking the "One-for-the-Thumb" over the "First-in-Franchise-History". :-) Go Stillers!

And they thought I would forget

See, I can remember some things. :-)

The "things" I'm talking about are two personality-type tests I took online the last couple days. The first, which is really neat, is the Color Code. This guy tried to figure out what people's driving core motives were and gave them colors...Red (power), Blue (intimacy), White (peace), and Yellow (fun). The test said I'm Blue (intimacy), but I found a lot of Red and White in me was well, when I read the other descriptions. I'll have to take it again to see if Blue is tied with something else.

The second test is the Real Age test. Apparently, although I'm 25, my real age is 21.5. But I could be even younger in as little as 90 days through diet and exercise. :-) And I found out that consuming moderate amounts of alcohol (equal to about 1/2 drink per day) actually lowers my real age. They say that it slows the aging process for most women. Score! I knew I was doing something right!

A momentus day

Shhh...do you hear that? It's awfully quiet in here. Anyone there?

Yeah, I know I've been gone for a while. And although it may seem hard to believe to Mr. Ocean Waves, I truly have not had anything to say. Not that that has stopped me in the past, but I couldn't find anything I wanted to share with the masses. Well, that's over now. Prepare yourselves.

So Tuesday was my birthday. My 25th birthday to be precise. And I have to say I don't feel older at all. A quarter century. Although I'm not sure how much I like being in the "mid-to-late-twenties" as opposed to my "early-twenties". But I suppose I shall get used to it. Since it's going to be the last time I have a birthday and all. My dad's still 25, supposedly, although he's been saying that for several years, so I'm starting to think it's not true.

In honor of my birthday, I decided to borrow (read: steal) an idea from Proteinstar...except I can't seem to get cool pictures in mine. I have a lot of cool people born on my birthday. A number of nerds (which fits, don't you think?), athletes, that little girl from "Poltergeist" (which I may just have to watch now that I know that) and even a sex therapist. Cool.

Other important people born on the 27th of December:

1555 - Johann Arndt, theologist

1571 - Johann Kepler, astronomer. Discovered elliptical orbits.

1654 - Jacobus Bernouilli, mathematician

1773 - George Cayley, founded the science of aerodynamics

1822 - Louis Pasteur, microbiolgist and chemist. You can thank him for pasturization and vaccines...specifically for rabies.

1836 - Henricus Oort, Dutch theologist (Leidse translation)

1884 - Bernard van Dieren, composer

1901 - Marlene Dietrich, singer/actress (Blue Angel)

1915 - William Howell Masters, sex author/physician

1931 - Scotty Moore, guitarist (for Elvis)

1948 - Gerard Depardieu, France, actor (Get Out Your Handkerchiefs, Danton)

1956 - Doina Melinte, Romanian running star (world record 1500 m/mile indoor)

1957 - James Sanford, US runner (world record 50m indoor)

1959 - Andre Tippett, NFL linebacker (New England Patriots)

1972 - Dewayne Washington, NFL cornerback (Minn Vikings)

1975 - Heather O'Rourke, actress (Happy Days, Poltergeist)

Someone who thinks like me

Expectedly, the Steelers lost to the Colts last night. But I found this on ESPN.com's Page 2 today.

Antwaan Randle El ranks 14th in the NFL this season in punt-return yardage, but he trails only Kansas City's Dante Hall in a lesser-known -- but no less prestigious -- punt-return yardage category: Pointless Yards Traveled Running Around In A Circle And Side To Side On Punt Returns That Inevitably Result In Only A Few Positive Yards Gained.

This guy thinks like me...that's scary. For those of you who find humor in the ridiculuous, here's the page. This guy is funny.

Can you believe it's past Thanksgiving already? I always enjoy Thanksgiving. My college friends and I get together over Thanksgiving, rotating whose house it's at every year. It's 4 days of eating, laughing, not much sleeping, eating, playing games, catching up, and...oh yeah, eating. Lots of fun. I treasure those times. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a great relationship with my parents and brother, a great job, a nice apartment, wonderful friends. I'm very blessed.

This weekend is my company Christmas party already. And I'm listening to Christmas music on Accuradio. But it's 65 degrees outside! It had better get cold...and soon. I was so excited to see snow on Thursday morning. It melted quickly, but it gives one hope nonetheless.

Thankful hearts

Okay, so I was going to add some of my own thoughts afterwards, but I think I don't need to. Here is my devotional from this morning. I'm definitely not thankful enough.

The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank.
- Unknown

Thanksgiving is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not to wag his tail at his owner's approach.

Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.

It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.

In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you're overwhelmed that you got in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)

You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.

Fearless Five

So the torch has been passed to me. Without any further ado:

Five Places I'd Like to Visit (to which I haven't already visited)

1. Japan
2. Alaska
3. The Grand Canyon
4. Mount Rushmore
5. Victoria Falls

Five Favorite Restaurants

1. Red Lobster
2. The Pizza Grille
3. Cobblestone's
4. Red Robin
5. Macaroni Grill

Five Sporting Events I Would Like to Attend

1. Pittsburgh Steelers home game
2. Super Bowl
3. Ohio State home game
4. Olympic gymnastics competition
   
5. Boston Red Sox home game

Five People from History are Having Dinner at My Place

1. Esther
2. Job
3. Martin Luther
4. Louis Armstrong
5. Adolf Hitler

Five Things I Don't Know

1. What it's like to be in love
2. What it feels like to kiss someone
3. How predestination/free will works
4. Why some people like coffee
5. How to throw a football properly, complete with spiral
   

Alright, now it's your turn Lacky...

Thank you

Oversized sweatshirt: $15.

Comfortable pants: $10.

Box of tissues: $2.

Getting hugs from friends when you need a pick-me-up: Priceless.

Consider this

When I catch myself comparing myself with others or thinking, I could be happy if only I had what they have, then I know I need to withdraw for a while and listen for another voice. Away from the winds, the earthquakes, and the fires of human recognition, I can hear again the still, small voice, posing the question it always asks of self-absorbed children: "What are you doing here?"
Too often I reply to the voice by whining about some of my own Ahabs and Jezebels. And the voice gently reminds me, as it has reminded thousands of Elijahs before me, that I am only a small part of a larger movement and that at the end of the day there is only one King whose approval will matter: "It is the Lord who judges me."
The voice also whispers, Do not despise your place, your gifts, or your voice, for you cannot have another's, and it would not fulfil you if you could.
John Ortberg, "The Life You've Always Wanted"

Why do I despise what I have? Oh, I don't outright say that I despise it. But it's surely not as good as what that person has. And isn't that the same as despising? But when you think that God knows us fully (there is no mask or pretension I can wear to hide my spirit from the Spirit of God), it's an awesome thought. Because God knows me so well, I get the things I truly need...my personality, abilities, spiritual gifts are all "tailor-made" as it were to suit me. So why in the world do I think that someone else's tailor-made qualities would fit me?

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
-- Psalm 139: 1, 14

In loving memory

Michael Alfred Sample
December 20, 1955 - November 9, 2005

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." -- Psalm 62: 1-2

They've gotta stop playing Monday nights

The Steelers that is. They're throwing off my sleep schedule! But unlike Chargers and Ravens fans (sorry MK), I get to go to bed a happy camper. I wasn't sure they'd pull it off. Definitely had me worried. But it's a good time to be a Steelers fan. Right now, the fact that they won is all that matters. :-) But I thought it was interesting to see what people think of Brian Billick and Bill Cowher.

I decided I like Halloween. I haven't properly dressed up for a couple years. But this weekend was the annual Green Door Halloween dance. I made my costume. That's right...the girl who has never sewed anything more than a hem in her life sewed a costume. And not only that, I altered the pattern and didn't have any help from my mom, who sews very well. I was so excited! I made a girls baseball uniform from the 1940's (think "League of their Own"). I was Rockford Peach! How very fun. So I decided (again) that I like dressing up. It was fun to be someone else, if only for a night.

I also decided that if you have to forget to move your clock, it's definitely better to do it in the fall. I was awoken Sunday morning by a friend who had forgotten to reset her clock as well and was at church with hardly anyone else there. So she took a nap on my couch while I went back to bed. It's great to realize that when you thought you only had 15 minutes left to sleep, you actually have an hour and 15 minutes. I love falling back. :-) Don't know how I forgot, though. That's a first. The only problem (well, it's not necessarily a problem) is that now it's dark at 6:00 at night. That's kind of a bummer. But then I remember that shorter days mean winter, and winter means snow. I guess it's a good thing. So bring on the shorter days!

Another world away

For those of you keeping score at home, the newest Narnia trailer is out. You can download it here (52 MB Quicktime, 34 MB Windows Media). Looks pretty cool. Only 44 days!

And only 23 days until Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!

Do you know what this means?

It can only mean good things. It's snowing in Altoona!! SNOWING!! Real, honest to goodness snow! Break out the skis, everyone, winter will soon be upon us. Maybe this year will be a good one for snow (and by good, I mean the opposite of almost everyone else out there...I hope we get dumped on). Keep those fingers crossed.

Apple anyone?

A friend sent me this in a forward:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men...Men are like wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Okay, so the last part isn't necessarily true, but I thought it was funny. Anyway, the reason for posting this is that it reminded me of several conversations I've had in the last week or so. I don't know about the whole taking-from-the-ground-instead-of-climbing-the-tree thing, but I think both women and men feel like the apple at the top of the tree sometimes. Maybe no one has come along yet who's willing (or ready) to make the climb, or maybe we're not ready to be picked yet. Why some get picked when they're clearly not ready, seems unfair, but that's for a different day. So fellow apples, hang in there. I think we all feel that way at one time or another. And now I will stop before this fruit analogy completely falls apart.

How sure is sure?

Since my friend doesn't allow comments on his blog, the response will have to go here. First, to clarify. The guys I dance with probably have the same fears as everyone else when it comes to asking women out. But they're not tentative to ask me because they're not asking me out on a date. They're just asking me to dance. Which everyone has to do (male or female), if you want to dance. I learned that after sitting out most of a dance one time.

I admire your desire to only give one girl your heart. However, is going out for dinner equal to giving a girl your heart? I don't think so. But there may be a difference in semantics here, with regards to our definitions of "dating". So I have no problem going out with a guy for dinner a couple times...i.e. going on a date. It may not work out in the end, but if I'm just sitting and analyzing him, I may not get the opportunity to get to know him better. I'm not going to say that you need to date a lot of people so you can get a better understanding of women. That's not necessarily true. There are a lot of things I've learned that I want, or don't want, in a guy just from my guy friends. But I also don't agree that you're more critical in the next relationship. You don't need ex's to be critical, you could compare them to your mom, sister, or other female friends. You're just more sure of what you do and do not want. I mean, you could sit and analyze a girl till you're blue in the face, but as soon as you start getting to know her/dating her, something big could come up that you wouldn't have known about beforehand that you just can't take. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how sure does one have to be? You could be as sure as you possibly could be, and it wouldn't work out. Or you could ask out someone you don't know very well, and wouldn't have much opportunity to get to know without going out on dates, and be completely surprised. And I'm going to play the God card here, maybe God wants some people to date and go through a breakup. Someone we both know only wanted to date one person, and yet now, this person is very glad that they went through the relationship and the breakup, painful as it was. Not only did it show this person things about the other sex, and what kind of person they would eventually like to be with, that they wouldn't have seen otherwise, God used the process to teach this person a few things about him/herself that might not have been discovered otherwise.

And I'm not saying that taking things slow is bad, that you should just rush into things. And I don't advocate dating just for datings sake. But you gave me some things to think about, so I thought I'd return the favor. :)

Puddle jumping anyone?

I love this weather. Not for every day, mind you. But it's perfet today. And we need the rain. It's the perfect day to be at home, not here at work. To be snuggled up under a blanket watching the rain, reading a book. Of course, having a good man to snuggle up with would make it all that much better. :-) But for now I'll just settle for the book, the blanket, and the comfy couch.

Say it isn't so

Nine little words. That's all. But they're terrifying and cringe-inducing. Ready?

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby.

Now, is that scary, or what? Just what we need. Brace yourself for the onslaught of "news" covering this blessed event. And I'm not holding out hope that this condition will improve dear Katie's vocabulary, either. Let me guess. This news is "awesome", she and Tom are "so happy", Tom is going to be an "extraordinary" dad, Katie's going to be a "magnificent" mother, and they're "totally in love". Not that I'm cynical, or anything.

He's all growed up

So this happened this weekend:


That's right. I am now officially a card carrying member of the "my younger sibling got married before me" club. I can't believe my brother is married. It's crazy. But I did okay. I had a minor breakdown the day before the wedding and then I was fine. I thought I would be struggling a lot more with contentment than I was. Which is good. And now they're up in the Poconos enjoying the Champagne Towers. Have you heard of that place? It's crazy. A seven foot champagne glass hot tub. It's pretty cheesey, I think, but at the same time, they get their own maitre 'd for the whole week, breakfast and dinner, and a 4 level suite with hot tub, pool (heart-shaped of course), sauna, and round king size bed. Speaking of which, and this is a rhetorical question, what is the draw for a round bed? I don't get it. I don't think I would ever go there. But I hope they're having fun and relaxing.

A bonus for the weekend was that we had 15 relatives over, from both sides of the family. That was fun for me, getting to visit with family that I normally only get to see once every 3 years or so. Very fun. I like my mom's sisters. They were all out here for the momentus occasion. Very fun group of women.

So I'm beat this week. I'm having a hard time recovering from the weekend. But it was fun, so it was worth it.

For your viewing pleasure

And because I wanted to see if I could post a picture. Good stuff.

In other news

The Steelers lost to the Patriots yesterday. What a bummer. They looked good to win. Two turnovers in the red zone, lots of pressure on Tom Brady in the pocket. And then came the 4th quarter. That sucked. The Pats are the best clutch team around, thanks to their quarterback and kicker. As my friend MK said yesterday, I don't think Adam Vinatieri knows the meaning of the word pressure. Same goes for Tom Brady. And they were forcing Big Ben to throw. Let's just say he's better at handing off the ball to his runningbacks than throwing the ball most of the time. Not good. So, the win streak is over. Still, 15 regular season games is a pretty good run. Next time...