Since my friend doesn't allow comments on his blog, the response will have to go here. First, to clarify. The guys I dance with probably have the same fears as everyone else when it comes to asking women out. But they're not tentative to ask me because they're not asking me out on a date. They're just asking me to dance. Which everyone has to do (male or female), if you want to dance. I learned that after sitting out most of a dance one time.
I admire your desire to only give one girl your heart. However, is going out for dinner equal to giving a girl your heart? I don't think so. But there may be a difference in semantics here, with regards to our definitions of "dating". So I have no problem going out with a guy for dinner a couple times...i.e. going on a date. It may not work out in the end, but if I'm just sitting and analyzing him, I may not get the opportunity to get to know him better. I'm not going to say that you need to date a lot of people so you can get a better understanding of women. That's not necessarily true. There are a lot of things I've learned that I want, or don't want, in a guy just from my guy friends. But I also don't agree that you're more critical in the next relationship. You don't need ex's to be critical, you could compare them to your mom, sister, or other female friends. You're just more sure of what you do and do not want. I mean, you could sit and analyze a girl till you're blue in the face, but as soon as you start getting to know her/dating her, something big could come up that you wouldn't have known about beforehand that you just can't take. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how sure does one have to be? You could be as sure as you possibly could be, and it wouldn't work out. Or you could ask out someone you don't know very well, and wouldn't have much opportunity to get to know without going out on dates, and be completely surprised. And I'm going to play the God card here, maybe God wants some people to date and go through a breakup. Someone we both know only wanted to date one person, and yet now, this person is very glad that they went through the relationship and the breakup, painful as it was. Not only did it show this person things about the other sex, and what kind of person they would eventually like to be with, that they wouldn't have seen otherwise, God used the process to teach this person a few things about him/herself that might not have been discovered otherwise.
And I'm not saying that taking things slow is bad, that you should just rush into things. And I don't advocate dating just for datings sake. But you gave me some things to think about, so I thought I'd return the favor. :)
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2 comments:
Your friend would like you to know that he wasn’t talking about that green door kind of dancing. He was more referring to the “I’m not paying for her to get drunk” kinda dancing. He apologizes for the misunderstanding. Next time he’ll be more specific.
Gotcha. I guess I assumed the green door type dancing because I've only been to the other place once. But now I understand. In that case, I think the alcohol also has a lot to do with their lack of inhibition. :-)
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