Another world away

For those of you keeping score at home, the newest Narnia trailer is out. You can download it here (52 MB Quicktime, 34 MB Windows Media). Looks pretty cool. Only 44 days!

And only 23 days until Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!

Do you know what this means?

It can only mean good things. It's snowing in Altoona!! SNOWING!! Real, honest to goodness snow! Break out the skis, everyone, winter will soon be upon us. Maybe this year will be a good one for snow (and by good, I mean the opposite of almost everyone else out there...I hope we get dumped on). Keep those fingers crossed.

Apple anyone?

A friend sent me this in a forward:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men...Men are like wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Okay, so the last part isn't necessarily true, but I thought it was funny. Anyway, the reason for posting this is that it reminded me of several conversations I've had in the last week or so. I don't know about the whole taking-from-the-ground-instead-of-climbing-the-tree thing, but I think both women and men feel like the apple at the top of the tree sometimes. Maybe no one has come along yet who's willing (or ready) to make the climb, or maybe we're not ready to be picked yet. Why some get picked when they're clearly not ready, seems unfair, but that's for a different day. So fellow apples, hang in there. I think we all feel that way at one time or another. And now I will stop before this fruit analogy completely falls apart.

How sure is sure?

Since my friend doesn't allow comments on his blog, the response will have to go here. First, to clarify. The guys I dance with probably have the same fears as everyone else when it comes to asking women out. But they're not tentative to ask me because they're not asking me out on a date. They're just asking me to dance. Which everyone has to do (male or female), if you want to dance. I learned that after sitting out most of a dance one time.

I admire your desire to only give one girl your heart. However, is going out for dinner equal to giving a girl your heart? I don't think so. But there may be a difference in semantics here, with regards to our definitions of "dating". So I have no problem going out with a guy for dinner a couple times...i.e. going on a date. It may not work out in the end, but if I'm just sitting and analyzing him, I may not get the opportunity to get to know him better. I'm not going to say that you need to date a lot of people so you can get a better understanding of women. That's not necessarily true. There are a lot of things I've learned that I want, or don't want, in a guy just from my guy friends. But I also don't agree that you're more critical in the next relationship. You don't need ex's to be critical, you could compare them to your mom, sister, or other female friends. You're just more sure of what you do and do not want. I mean, you could sit and analyze a girl till you're blue in the face, but as soon as you start getting to know her/dating her, something big could come up that you wouldn't have known about beforehand that you just can't take. I guess what I'm trying to say is, how sure does one have to be? You could be as sure as you possibly could be, and it wouldn't work out. Or you could ask out someone you don't know very well, and wouldn't have much opportunity to get to know without going out on dates, and be completely surprised. And I'm going to play the God card here, maybe God wants some people to date and go through a breakup. Someone we both know only wanted to date one person, and yet now, this person is very glad that they went through the relationship and the breakup, painful as it was. Not only did it show this person things about the other sex, and what kind of person they would eventually like to be with, that they wouldn't have seen otherwise, God used the process to teach this person a few things about him/herself that might not have been discovered otherwise.

And I'm not saying that taking things slow is bad, that you should just rush into things. And I don't advocate dating just for datings sake. But you gave me some things to think about, so I thought I'd return the favor. :)

Puddle jumping anyone?

I love this weather. Not for every day, mind you. But it's perfet today. And we need the rain. It's the perfect day to be at home, not here at work. To be snuggled up under a blanket watching the rain, reading a book. Of course, having a good man to snuggle up with would make it all that much better. :-) But for now I'll just settle for the book, the blanket, and the comfy couch.

Say it isn't so

Nine little words. That's all. But they're terrifying and cringe-inducing. Ready?

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby.

Now, is that scary, or what? Just what we need. Brace yourself for the onslaught of "news" covering this blessed event. And I'm not holding out hope that this condition will improve dear Katie's vocabulary, either. Let me guess. This news is "awesome", she and Tom are "so happy", Tom is going to be an "extraordinary" dad, Katie's going to be a "magnificent" mother, and they're "totally in love". Not that I'm cynical, or anything.

He's all growed up

So this happened this weekend:


That's right. I am now officially a card carrying member of the "my younger sibling got married before me" club. I can't believe my brother is married. It's crazy. But I did okay. I had a minor breakdown the day before the wedding and then I was fine. I thought I would be struggling a lot more with contentment than I was. Which is good. And now they're up in the Poconos enjoying the Champagne Towers. Have you heard of that place? It's crazy. A seven foot champagne glass hot tub. It's pretty cheesey, I think, but at the same time, they get their own maitre 'd for the whole week, breakfast and dinner, and a 4 level suite with hot tub, pool (heart-shaped of course), sauna, and round king size bed. Speaking of which, and this is a rhetorical question, what is the draw for a round bed? I don't get it. I don't think I would ever go there. But I hope they're having fun and relaxing.

A bonus for the weekend was that we had 15 relatives over, from both sides of the family. That was fun for me, getting to visit with family that I normally only get to see once every 3 years or so. Very fun. I like my mom's sisters. They were all out here for the momentus occasion. Very fun group of women.

So I'm beat this week. I'm having a hard time recovering from the weekend. But it was fun, so it was worth it.

For your viewing pleasure

And because I wanted to see if I could post a picture. Good stuff.

In other news

The Steelers lost to the Patriots yesterday. What a bummer. They looked good to win. Two turnovers in the red zone, lots of pressure on Tom Brady in the pocket. And then came the 4th quarter. That sucked. The Pats are the best clutch team around, thanks to their quarterback and kicker. As my friend MK said yesterday, I don't think Adam Vinatieri knows the meaning of the word pressure. Same goes for Tom Brady. And they were forcing Big Ben to throw. Let's just say he's better at handing off the ball to his runningbacks than throwing the ball most of the time. Not good. So, the win streak is over. Still, 15 regular season games is a pretty good run. Next time...

Only the lonely

Why these thoughts came to me yesterday in church I really don't know. Do you think it's okay to be lonely? And I mean in relationship to one's singleness. I'm not really sure. You see, I have a great family and some awesome friends. Some are just acquaintences, but some are deep friendships, both male and female. People I can be myself around, warts and all (including fits of the giggles at prayer time - oh no!). On top of that, I know that I'm a child of Creator God, who loves me more than anything, and who I talk to everyday. So why do I still feel lonely? And is it a bad thing?

It's very tricky. On the one hand, we're taught that God should be our everything, the only one we need. On the other hand, he created us as relational beings. Even though Adam was in close relationship with God, Adam needed something else. And what's funny is that is was God that decided Adam needed something besides Himself. So where is the balance in that?

I don't know the answer. But I have come to think that sometimes it's okay to be lonely. Not that we should just sit around an mope all the time because we're lonely, but it's okay to feel lonely. It doesn't necessarily mean that my relationship with God is not what it should be. Nor does it mean that I'm definitely going to be married someday. God could take the loneliness away. But I shouldn't sit and feel guilty if I feel lonely. I dunno. Just some random thoughts from a random Sample. :-)

Just in case you were wondering

I have nothing to say. :-) Stay tuned, I may have something to say in the future...

Getting real

A post on another blog has got me thinking. Are we afraid to share honestly with other Christians? I think so, and it's a shame. I know that I have gone through times of doubt and frustration, but don't really want to share some of the things I've been thinking for fear that I'll be judged. That people will think I'm less of a Christian. I think people pass judgement on other people in those situations because it's easier than dealing with their own shortcomings/doubts/insecurities.

After wrestling for a while, and reading a lot, I have come to the conclusion that God welcomes people who are honest enough about their struggles to admit them. That God is patient with my doubting, my confusion, even my anger. He let Job question him. Didn't answer him directly, but that's not the point. Job complained to God, and it was okay. Jacob wrestled with God, Thomas needed tangible proof, the disciples would get it and then not get it a minute later. And yet God was patient. And he USED every one of those people. And I think it was the faith that resulted from those periods of doubt and uncertainty that enabled God to use them so mightily. (I must put in a caveat and say that just because God uses these times doesn't mean that I think God likes us to be in places like that).

Sometimes doubt can drive people from God. But I think more often it's a strengthener of faith. If I doubt and wrestle, then when I come through on the other side, my faith is "mine". I'm not just taking someone else's word for it...I've made it mine.

So if it's something God can work with, why can't the church? Instead, it's seen as a weakness, something that we can't share with other people, or something we don't know what to do with when someone does open up. But we've all been there, and I think we're lying to ourselves and to others if we don't admit it. Everyone has times when they question God. When what they've been told and believe doesn't seem to fit with what's really happening.

It doesn't mean I don't believe. Really, what else is there to believe that holds water? No, it's not turning my back on God. I'm just being real and honest before God, taking off my mask of "spirituality". Admitting my struggles. Now if only I could be so bold as to do that in front of other people.

15 days till fall

But who's counting?

There are so many reasons I love fall. Cooler temperatures, sleeping with the windows open, sleeping with the comforter on the bed, the cool, crisp smell in the air, leaves changing colors, football, wearing warm clothes, wearing warm clothes while outside at a football game screaming your lungs out, hot drinks. **Sigh** As Louis Armstrong said...what a wonderful world.

It's just like riding a bike

What a great weekend! So many good things, but most of all...a day off work. I'm having a hard time convincing myself today is Tuesday.

I went dancing on Friday night. Got to try out my new dance shoes. I was a new person. They didn't even recognize that dancing machine out there. :-) Great fun. AND I got to sleep in on Saturday morning. I haven't been able to do that for a while. I love my bed. Naps are great, too. Got to take one of those on Sunday afternoon. I learned that it's nearly impossible in September to find brown or blue dress shoes that weren't made for my grandmother. That sucks.

I'm SO saddle sore this morning. :-) I went for a bike ride with my parents yesterday down to a diner in Dillsburg. Great fun. I haven't been on a bike in years. Years, I tell you. And I didn't even realize what the seat was doing to me until we got back on the bikes after breakfast. That was painful. I'm thankful the trip home was a lot shorter. Bike seats are painful!

I love relaxing weekends. Where there are no agendas, no plans, activities. Where you can just come and go however you wish. And I got good food for the soul. Our church recently moved into a new and bigger building. And the first sermon series was "Family Matters". Gee, that's an interesting 3 months of sermons for a single 20-something. Which was disheartening. One fo the reasons I was drawn to the church in the first place was the pastor's sermons. I love his preaching style, and what he has to say. But this "FM" sermon series seemed more "seeker sensitive" than his usual sermons. I mean, I understand why they did it, but I was afraid the sermons that really spoke to me were a thing of the past. So my hopes were raised when I heard that the new sermon series would be "The 10 Commandments". And they were realized this Sunday when I heard the sermon...an into of sorts into the series.

I heard one of the best sermons this Sunday. It was very challenging for me, and met me where I was at. How often, in Evangelical Christianity, do we focus more on the love of God, and forget the holiness of God. The fact that we shouldn't even be allowed to stand in the presence of such a God makes the concept of mercy and grace that much more incredible. Unfortunately, I fall into that category too often. I like to think of God as someone I can run to easily, and talk with casually. Which are all things that are okay. But, all too often I forget about the incredible and absolute holiness of God. And I forget my humble place as a human before the Divine. Holy love. You can't divorce the two. One without the other is an incomplete picture of God. Good stuff. Can't wait till next Sunday...the First Commandment.

Long time gone

So, it seems that the sounds of silence were being practiced right here on my very own blog as well. :-) I'm back now, and I have things to say. Look out world.

On second thought, I don't have anything really important to say.

I've had two really good weekends in a row now. Last weekend I went to NYC for the day. I got to geek out about a bunch of movable bridges. Thanks, guys, for letting me do that, and only making fun of me a little bit. I have to concur with Matt, MOBIA was boring. I don't really get art. I'm glad some people do, and I know some people who would really have enjoyed it, but it's not my thing. Central Park is cool, though. It's this little oasis in the middle of the city. With all of the trees, you almost forget that you're in the middle of this huge city. I also got to see Lady Liberty for the first time ever. That's pretty impressive. I can't imagine what that would've been like to see after weeks of traveling. Pretty powerful image.

I'm danced out. Well, at least for a day or two. This weekend I went to Boston for a balboa weekend. Lots of fun. Got to learn some new moves, hang out with some very fun people, and get very tired. I've definitely been bitten by the dancing bug. Now I'm just waiting for my new dancing shoes...I'll be a dancing machine. :-)

Terrible power

This is not good. We have an office down in New Orleans, which is closed at the moment. We're hearing from our emplyees, so it's good that they're safe, but there's so much devestation. It's amazing to me, the power of some of these storms. It's like glimpsing a little bit of the awesome power of God. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but there's a certain beauty in the power of the storm. It's a powerful reminder of who God is.

The sounds of silence

My small group is reading through "The Life You've Always Wanted" right now. This week was the chapter on the discipline of silence. How do you do with silence? I'm horrible at it. My brain is usually running 5 miles a minute and going off in every tangent imaginable. And yet silence is a good thing. Granted, some people are better at it than others, but that doesn't mean that those of us who struggle shouldn't do it. Jesus made it a point to go off on his own, spend time in prayer, and just be. He lived the ultimate unhurried life. And yet, he was almost constantly on the go. How do you do that? I think it's because he conciously took time from his day to be alone. To pray, to refocus. I usually don't stop to think about the day until it's pretty much over. But last night in small group we all went to different rooms and spent an hour in silence. A whole HOUR! We had no clocks, no music, no books, nothing but a piece of paper, a pen, and the Bible. It was tough. Not quite as tough as I thought, but I was still squirming towards the end. Mostly because I was in my own bedroom trying not to look at all of the other things I could've been doing.

But thinking back on last night, I'm glad we did it. It forced me to stop. To take time to regroup, focus on God, to pray, to read the Bible. How often in a day do we have an hour of uninterrupted time? Or make an hour of uninterrupted time? Most of the time we just go from one activity to the next, until the whole day becomes a blur. We end up just kind of floating along in life, not really living it. One quote from this week's chapter of the book really struck me. It talked about how busyness allows us to settle for a mediocre faith. That we're not in danger of abandoning our faith so much as we are in danger of accepting a mediocre faith. That's not good.

Lord, help me to take time to slow down and spend time each day focusing on you so that I never settle for mediocrity.

Cry me a river

Have you had a good cry lately? Maybe the menfolk will not understand. However, I think that one of the most cathartic things in the world is a good cry. The kind when your body is just wracked with sobs and you're almost hyperventilating. You just let it all out. The feeling after a cry like that is usually one of peace. It's amazing how much better you can feel after a good cry. People who know me will tell you that I'm not much of a crier. Sure, I may feel like crying every now and then, or I may get "misty", but I don't really cry that much. But last night God and I had a good talk, and I had a good cry. I felt wonderful afterwards. Well, not exactly wonderful, but I felt lighter somehow.

Which leads me to the reasons that brought about those tears. It was me giving up different dreams that I've been holding on to. Not giving up on them, but giving them over to God, and trusting that He knows what's best for me. That's really hard to do. There are always things we want to do, or to be, or to accomplish. Christians always talk about "taking things to God". But how good are we about doing that? Do we really still secretly hold onto those dreams and desires? I may get some of my dreams. But I might not, and it's hard to let go of them. I want to tell God to do whatever he wants in my life, but I'm afraid. Afraid that what God has in mind is not going to match up with what I envision. As if somehow my dream is better or I could plan and arrange my life better than Him. Not likely. It's hard to trust that maybe the best thing for me is to not have or do or be certain things.

Pondering all of these things, I put in a CD by a former worship leader at my parents church. The words of one song in particular struck me, and I thought I'd leave you with those thoughts:

In the morning when I rise...

And when I am alone...

And when I come to die...

Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world.
Give me Jesus.

Another one bites the dust

I went to a friends' wedding on Saturday. It was beautiful. However, if I don't go to another wedding for a couple years, that'd be okay, too. I have 4 weddings this year. 2 down, 2 to go. And one of those is my brother's. And I'm in that one. That'll make 6 weddings I've been in. So why don't I like weddings? No, it's not that I don't like weddings. I'm really happy for my friends. But when is it going to be my turn? Will the time come when they're happy for me? I think that's the real problem. After this past weekend, I can now say that I'm the only one of my college friends that isn't married. God, will it ever by my turn? If not, do you think you could take this desire from me?

In a much happier train of thought...I love my friends. Well, I love all of my friends, but in particular my college friends. I love having people that I'm so comfortable with that we can just sit and enjoy each other's company and not say anything. Or we can not see each other for two months and pick up like we never left off, talking till 1 in the morning. Four of my college friends came out for the wedding on Saturday. It was so nice to see them all again, in one place, all together. I've known them now for seven years. That's a milestone for me. Actually, anything over four years is a milestone. My whole life I've never known what it's like to have close friends with years of shared history. Thanks to the Air Force, I moved every three years. Friendships are hard to keep up when you're an ocean away. But now I've had these friends for seven years. SEVEN! It may not go back to 3rd grade, but for me, who's never had friends longer than 3 years, it's incredible. They're the ones that confronted me and broke through my defense mechanisms of keeping people at arms length and showed me what real friendship and love is about. What it means to have friends that are family. They've seen me at my best, and they've seen me at my absolute worst. And, go figure, they still love me! Pretty cool.

It's a Dee-Dah day!

This is really good news. (If you're interested and want the ins and outs of this process from the inside, check out this site.) We've been waiting for this bill to pass for 2 years. If you've heard of engineering companies downsizing and everyone struggling, this has been why. Not so much the slowdown in the economy since 9/11, although that didn't help. No, we've been waiting on the new Highway Transportation Act for 2 years. They've been making all kinds of extensions and fighting about it in Congress. How does this bill help, you may ask? Well, this bill gives the states money so they can pursue all kinds of highway projects. In order to do that, they need to hire engineering firms (such as mine) to do the design work for the project. So hopefully this means that firms will now start getting the work they've been so desperately seeking for the last couple years. It was getting cut-throat. Everyone going for the same projects because there were so few. But things are starting to look up for engineers everywhere.

So be sure to hug an engineer today. :-)